Sunday, August 14, 2011

Thankful for all the guys here :)

I'm in a new stage of coming out to myself now.....the drama and the self loathing is largely dissapating. It's been because of meeting or being influenced ( in person and on line) so many great guys and gals who have been where I am and have gotten past this and are living much more functional and joyful lives.

I have put the 'hookup' experiences behind me now. I know that's not where I want to be. In many ways, I come back to appreciating the values I had before I came out, but from the perspective of an emotionally healthy gay man. I'm not out of the woods yet, but it is getting closer, day by day. Also, P & M, gay chat sites, hookup sites, etc are losing their hold on me. I simply want to be a happy person, living to my potential and being happy. The fact that I'm gay, while important and essential to my development and well being, no longer defines me exclusively. I feel that there is no single "gay lifestyle" just as there isn't a single "straight lifestyle".

I am finally starting to experience more days of peace in my fits and starts.....I can only hope with effort and love for myself and others that this will only keep improving.

I love reading all the posts and responses...both here and on the Moho Facebook group. such a diversity of people with different viewpoints and life circumstances, and yet civil to each other and willing to be supportive.   Thank you !


  1. Sounds like you're getting to a healthy place, and that's really great Brian!

  2. I am so happy for you! It has taken me a long time to come to terms with my sexuality. It's a long, painful, but very necessary road we all must take. I am also in a good place right now. It's such a great feeling to be at peace with yourself, and to accept yourself for who you are. Good luck to you my friend!

  3. @ Neal and Mimi

    Thanks for caring ! Yes it is hard, but definitely worth it. Especially when it happens at mid-life. It seems infinitely harder....but the rewards are sweet :)))

  4. Here's to progress and finding your way. The good thing about this journey is that there's no manual or prescribed path, you forge your own the best way you can. Sometimes you fall, hurt and cry but just dust yourself wipe the tears and move on with hope. We're all here for you.